Following you'll find a glossary of Terms often used in advertisements. The intent here is to look at them from the lighter side. Of course, this discussion excludes advertisements made on this site.

Spacious - average
Charming - small
Comfortable - very small
Cozy - very, very small
Low maintenance - no lawn
Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car
Prestigious - expensive
Bright and sunny - Venetian blinds not included
Townhouse - former tenement
Modern - 30 to 40 years old
Contemporary - at least 15 years old
Sprawling ranch - inefficient floor plan
Natural setting - forget about planting, the deer will eat everything
Secluded setting - far away
Executive neighborhood - high taxes
Near houses of worship - fanatical denomination next door
Park-like setting - a tree on the block
Unaffected charm -  needs painting
Starter home - run down
Hurry! Won't last - about to collapse
And much, much more - nothing else comes to mind